Chaos always precedes the transformation. The mess is in the middle when you doubt tackling the big project. Wonder if you’ve made a mistake. Wishing you could go back.
The transition is when you doubt everything. When nothing is as it should be and you wonder if it will all turn out okay.
This weekend we decorated for Christmas. Pulled out all of the bins. Took down the fall decorations. Took out the Christmas garland and lights and ornaments and candles. It was a mess.
The boys helped carry the heavy stuff and assemble the 9' tree. The girls decorated and I mostly practiced Lamaze breathing in the corner. Now that they are all older, the kids took over the decorating. I was focused on the mess. Stuff everywhere. Little squabbles here and there about the lights and where the village pieces go.
What have I done?
I should have done this alone.
And-- What will I do when they all graduate?! How will I do this alone?!
We have messed this up. It's too cluttered in here. Why do I take on these massive projects? What was I thinking?! Isn't break supposed to be RELAXING??
All these thoughts raced through my head as I fought back tears. Why am I crying? This should be a happy moment! But it all just felt like chaos.
Which, honestly, feels like my life right now. Everything is a mess. We are changing things around. We are pulling out the new and putting away the old. But everything is everywhere and it can bring on daily panic attacks.
Maybe you’re in the middle of transition right now, too. Maybe you’re changing course and starting to question if it’s a good idea after all. Maybe you’re actually wishing you could go back, even though you had plenty of reasons for wanting to leave.
The beauty is coming. It’s just around the corner. You just have to HOLD ON.
Get through the mess.
Get through the middle.
Keep pressing on.
Chaos always precedes the transformation. Always.
I look around and now my house looks beautiful. It was worth the mess. It was worth pushing through.
And it gives me hope. Hope that 2020 will bring beauty and less chaos and confusion.
It reminds me that I am in the middle. And I have to hang on.
If you're in the messy, middle, too, I encourage you to hang on. Push through. The transformation is coming. Keep going. Don't give up.
It will be worth it all.
I know it will.
Watch this week's video here:
Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
The finished result from all of our decorating!
About the Author
Hi, I'm Jen Hickle!