You Decide

If you have been faking it too long, now is your time to reset.

Ask yourself what you really want to do.
Is your business really what you want?
Are you truly committed? The truly committed will rise.
Those half in and half out will fold. They'll say, "I'm out." And that's okay. It's just trimming the tree. Like storm winds that knock down the dead wood.

If you need to start over, now is your time. 
Hunker down, rewrite your life. 
Redo the course. 
Adjust. 
It's not failure to give up on what you've been doing for so long, even though it nearly broke you.
It's failure to not fulfill your calling.

There's no need to impress anyone anymore. 
Take off the mask and face who you really are and then embrace it. 

It's beautiful because God made you and He does not make mistakes. 
He wants to use you exactly as you are. 
NOT what others told you to be. 
NOT what the world says is beautiful or successful. 

You get to rise out of this and embrace the quirky, awkward, creative you. 
If you actually like being alone, it's not a bad thing. It's who you are. 
If you love diving deep and researching, you aren't a nerd. 
That's your gift to the world. 

If you are an artist that never paints, go paint. 
Ignore the voice of shame and vulnerability that says it's not good enough. 
You are just out of practice. 
You have life experience to lean on now, instead of cocky youth. 
Just paint. 
You don't have to do it to show anyone. Just paint. 

Or dance.
No one needs to even see you.
Just do it because you love it.

Write. Write if no one even reads it.
Don't write for the likes or the comments (or the lack of). 
Just write because you love to write. 
And if your writing is rusty, keep writing. 
You will only get better if you keep doing it. There's no other way.

But to turn off your creativity, your painting, your dancing, your writing, to swallow it and push it down? That's depression. That's anxiety. That's when you run so fast so you don't have to face your thoughts or emotions. You stay busy and go to the gym and are around people all the time--to drown out your thoughts screaming at you. 
That's why you escape your kids and hang out in groups. To get away from the voice that's calling you to slow down and face who you are.

Now is the time. It feels excruciating at first. To stop the schedules and the running and the deadlines. But we will find something beautiful at the bottom of this, if we are willing to look.

You'll find what you've been hiding from. You'll find who you really are. 

You'll breathe through the pain and birth something beautiful if you stop hiding behind the alcohol and the movies and the keeping up with the neighbors.
Journal. Write. Get it out.

Process.

Go for a power walk. Talk to yourself.

Do whatever it takes to face what you have been running from. See what God is speaking to you.

In every wartime and depression, our nation has re-invented itself. And maybe they kicked and screamed in the middle of it, too, but beautiful things came out of the ashes. 

What is coming out of you? What will change when this is all over? What will you give up? What will you return to, more grateful than ever before? Who will you run to, arms open wide, promising to never take them for granted again? What job will you quit? What business will you start?

This is your chance to reset. 

If you love being with your kids 24/7, you don't have to stop after this.
If you love working from home, you can continue.
If you love slowing down and living at a slower pace, you don't have to sign up for all the activities when they open up again.
You get to choose.

If you hated the track your life was on, but you just kept pushing through, well, now you get to change.

If you hate change and this is all so hard for you, push through it. Because on the other side of change might be exactly what you want or need.
You can fight the growth or you can lean into it. It's your choice.

You can surrender to the process and gain so much or you can be angry and frustrated and end up with ulcers and an anxiety disorder through this whole thing.
​
It's your choice.
Own it.
Control what you can and release the rest. 
This is all up to you.